Helping a Friend in Grief

Life is like a bed of roses when we are younger. Our parents give us all that we need. Never giving us a feel that there is something missing in our lives and we get the best of schools, education and friends.

It is we chance upon friends and meet new people. As we grow older our friends stay with us for the rest of our lives. It's great to be with friends. They are the people you can be yourself. No facades. Everyone is their normal self. Eating out. Enjoying a game or just chanting. You can talk about the moon and stars or the professors or games. Any topic is welcome to chat for hours.

But how do you comfort one of your friends who is struck by grief. Then you have to be very careful with your words and your gestures. Because everything you say is seeping down into a torn heart.

So firstly know what has happened. You need not go into the depths of the incident but you at least need to know what occurred so you can talk to your friend accordingly. In some cases a family member has left the house in haste, never to turn back or a family member is told to leave due to their incoherent behavior. Sometimes the friend has failed an entire year and hence is on the verge of depression or break up syndrome that has visited most of the youngsters. When young boys and girls break up they think it's the end of the world and hence take dire steps like suicide or condemning themselves for life.

Be sympathetic to your friend but do not show it overtly. Do not go overboard by saying 'so sad', 'I feel so bad for you'. You could probably say it once or twice and then just give a listening ear. If your friend does not want to speak about it, try to make him or her talk. That's the best way to make someone feel better by letting them just give it all out. But if they do not want to talk then leave it. Do not provoke them as they are very emotional and could burst out on you or say something ridiculing. So leave the strings loose. You could talk the next day or the day after that.

Another way to help a friend in grief is by taking him or her out. You could book movie tickets or go out for lunch. Or just call your friend over to play some TV or Video games. Keeping his or her mind off is the best way to help them overcome an incident. A few months later, when get comfortable with themselves once again, they may thank you for all your help.

But don't look forward to a thank you or an applaud. You should do it from your heart and give, do not wait or want to take back. After all friendship is when you give more and take less. That's what friends are meant for.