The 5 Reasons Why Men Fail With Women....

Let’s face it, most men tend to overestimate themselves. They may have been given strength from their academic record or success at work or on the court, and feel that this success automatically transfers over into credit in the “woman department”. Unfortunately, this is almost never the case. These are the men that are left scratching their heads at the end of the evening when everything that they said or did went completely wrong. From my experience, here are just a few reasons why these men tend to misjudge themselves and fail.

1. Admission of error, means omission of error: Men like to be right, and conversely they do not like to admit when they are wrong. Because of this, they either create diversions, create excuses to cover it up, or try and explain it away.

2. Arrogance: Sometimes, a little arrogance is okay. But that place is often on the basketball court or in a sales meeting with a demanding client. Men should not be arrogant without due cause. Because of this, men tend to take advice from other men, that they perceive to be “less gifted intellectually, but more gifted with women”. This almost always leads to a mistake.

3. High performing men often have the social skills of a raccoon. Often times, in social settings they cannot communicate with other people, and this leads to an upset or offended woman, or possibly women.

4. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Have you ever tried to buy a car, and the salesman is persistently trying to sell you on a pick-up truck? Probably not. Then why do men continually try and apply logic to women that are more driven by emotions? Women like men who can make them feel like they truly understand them.

5. Cliché Techniques don’t work. Most men think that being charming and polite is the best solution. So, they take a page from the playbook that their mother taught them and proudly present their date with one dozen red roses on the first evening. This instantly places the man into a category that he does not want to be in, especially not this early in the evening!

Of course, these are just suggestions and mistakes that I’ve witnessed my friends making in the past. Some may be wrong, some pay be right, but overall, they are painfully accurate. Try not to over think the situation and resist those “cheesy impulses” that will have you labeled into “that Sweet guy I want to set my (homely) room mate up with”.

Online Dating London
Let¡¯s set the stage: It¡¯s the first date, so Italian food is out, so is anything excessively noisy and smoky. After all, you need to talk to him and learn a little more about him, while you sell yourself like only you can. The two of you decide to meet for sushi at the Japanese place near your office. After you spend your entire afternoon preparing, you rush up to the door of the restaurant, and casually stroll through it, all the while presenting yourself as if you planned to be 15 minutes late. You see him as soon as you come through the door and he stands up to meet you, gives you that great smile that has all the girls gossiping, and shakes your hand with both hands, one on top, one on bottom. How do you read his body language? With these tips, you may be able to keep one step ahead of him.

Eye Contact: One of the first things to notice is his eye contact. Of course he¡¯s looking at you, but is his gaze fixed on you? People who are interested tend to hold eye contact for a few extra seconds. Not long enough to be considered staring, and thus scaring, but long enough to take the person in. If you¡¯re able to, watch his pupils. If they dilate, it¡¯s often an uncontrollable sign of interest. However, this is a hard one to master.

Body Position: Is he facing you squarely, or positioned away from you? If your ¡°target¡± is truly interested, men (and ladies!) tend to position themselves squarely at the person which they are talking to, presumable to pay full attention to that person. Ever talk to someone while they¡¯re angled 45 degrees and reading the paper? Without saying a word, you know that this person isn¡¯t interested. If the person is squared up with you, like a tackle getting ready to sack the quarterback, you know that they¡¯re interested. Hopefully not in tackling you, or at least not until after dinner!

The Touch Barrier: Outside of shaking hands, we tend only to touch people that we find attractive. And this all starts with a little touch. It may start with him telling an animated story and putting his hand on your arm while he acts out a scene, or helping you navigate through a crowed restaurant. Once the touch barrier is broken, all things can change.

¡°Mirroring¡±: It¡¯s often unknown and unnoticed when it¡¯s done, but mirroring takes place everywhere. A sales person mirrors his client in the meeting, when talking a general employee mirrors their boss at the coffee machine, and so on. Mirroring takes place when we repeat the same gesture that someone else is making. If you¡¯re talking to someone and they cross their arms, if we¡¯re paying attention to them we often, instinctively, cross our arms as well. It¡¯s a sign of attention. When you lean forward, does he lean forward also? If you lean back, does he follow? If so, you could be working your way to a second date! Mirroring may not only be physical, but we also tend to mirror the tones of voice that people use. If someone is talking in a hushed tone, we tend to move closer and lower our voice as well, and the same is true with the opposite. If someone is talking in a louder tone, we may raise our voice a bit to compare.

While these four items can be reliable, don¡¯t count on them to work 100% of the time. People are different, and cultures are different. Some cultures naturally talk loud and with wild hand gesticulations, while others are more reserved, speaking in softer tones with hands neatly folded. Be sure to take your time, pay attention to both what the person is saying, and how they are saying it. From there, you¡¯ll be able to get a good idea of how to proceed. Does Mr. This Weekend still stand a chance, or will you confirm that new date from Mr. Next Weekend?