Funny Stories part-3 (Raho Mast Har Dum)

-1-
My 5th graders were doing their warm-ups when one came up to ask a question about something he didn't understand. He read it out loud to me. "According to the picture, how much would the orgasms be magnified." I am soo proud of myself...without busting, I politely corrected his pronunciation. "That word is organism Dear."

-2-
Years ago, when I first started teaching, I had a little girl in my first grade class whose mother was going to have a baby. The baby was due in February, so around the fifth of the month I started asking Stephanie if her Mother had had the baby. I guess I asked her too many times because one day she came in and said, "My Mother had the baby." I asked her what she had and Stephanie answered, "They don't know yet, it's too small." I asked her if her Mother really had had the baby, and she admitted she hadn't. I told her that I wouldn't bother her anymore, and that she could tell me when it arrived. A few days later, she did tell me, and it was a girl. I never "bugged" another student about something like that happening in his/her family again.

-3-
The science lesson was moving along with great interest as we discussed the habits of nocturnal animals. Now the question was asked, "What do you call animals that are active and feed during the day? "My fourth grade, smiling boy replied with confidence in his voice---"I know--ETERNAL!"

-4-
I was helping a little girl practice her handwriting in first grade and she was staring at me intently. Thinking she was paying close attention I continued. She then politely said " I don't want to be mean but do you know you have hair on your lip?" I then said " Is it black?' She said " no" so I told her not to worry about it!!!!"

-5-
When we were discussing who spoke English and who spoke Spanish Kristopher piped up and said he just talks regular.

-6-
I teach preschool, 2 year olds. When I was Pregnant with my 3rd child, I saw no reason to tell my class because they were so young.  As the year was coming to an end, I grew quite large. One of my little darlings came up to me and said," Miss Ilene, your belly is getting very fat!"  I asked this little boy if he'd like to know why, and he said yes. I told him I had a baby in my tummy. He walked away, saying nothing. The next day, this happy, never cry child pitched a fit when his mother tried to leave.  She pulled him aside and they talked for a few minutes, and the little boy calmed down, and the mom was grinning from ear to ear. I asked what happened and she said, "Adam thought you might eat him, you've already eaten a baby."

-7-
A  wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

-8-
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

-9-
My friend Rhonda was telling me how rushed she was that morning getting her three children off to school. One of them had a field trip, but Rhonda couldn't find the permission slip anywhere.  She finally wrote a note to the teacher explaining she had lost the form but it was okay for her child to go on the trip.  Later Rhonda got a call from the teacher saying the note she had sent was scribbled on the back of the "lost" permission slip.

-10-
One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."