Love Quotes, Inspirational Quotes

Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours.
- Yogi Berra

Facts are stupid things.
- Ronald Reagan

Where the hell is Australia anyway?
- Britney Spears

Better make it six, I can't eat eight.
- Dan Osinski, Baseball player, being asked by a waitress if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
- Sign in Budapest Zoo

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.
- Vlade Divac, Basketball player

A baby is on a car
- Japanese "baby on board" sign

Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey

I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time.
- Mariah Carey on hearing of the death of the King of Jordan.

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.
- Alan Minter, Boxer

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
- Anonymous.

If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance.
- United Airlines Flight Safety Brochure

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
- Rita Mae Brown

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
- George Globol

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
-- Herbert Gardner

Guys aren't worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry.
- Author Unknown

People who laugh actually live longer than those who don't laugh. Few persons realize that health actually varies according to the amount of laughter.
- James J. Walsh

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.
- Leo Buscaglia

Be yourself. Who else is better qualified.
- Frank J. Giblin II

Always laugh when you can. It is cheaper than medicine.
- Lord Byron

Each night I lie awake and stare up at the stars and wonder...what the hell happened to my ceiling.
-- Robert Paul

Trying is just the first step toward failure.
- Homer Simpson

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

Man has made use of his intelligence; he invented stupidity.
- Remy de Gourmont

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
- Robert Frost

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
- Anonymous

if something's hard, then it's not worth doing.
- Homer Simpson

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
- Homer Simpson