Funny Adult Shayari

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Arz kiya hai...............................




Maine poocha chand se...
Kabhi dekha hai mere yaar sa hasin.....
Chand ne kaha ,
Abe Bhosdi ke, itne upar se kuch dikhta hai kya

Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate.......................
Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate.......................

Tu Chaand Tarey Todna tu Chhoti Baat Hai.........
Hum tu Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!

Ansu tere nikle, to ankhen meri ho,
Dil tera dhadke, to dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho,
Baap tu bane, to mehnat meri ho

Baarish Ka Paani aur Kagaz Ki Kashti.......................
Daaru ki botal aur achhhi Ghashti..........................
Ye Jawaani aur Sex ,do Pal Ki Masti..................
Condom Lagana Dost, yeh Lulee nahi sasti..........!!!!


Majnu ki halat to dekhiye, kabr mein pada tha
Majnu ki halat to dekhiye, kabr mein pada tha
Haddiyan to gal gayi thi, par land khada tha...........

yaha waha ......waha yaha
yaha waha ......waha yaha
lifebouy hain jaha tandarusti hai waha .

yoon tow humne kitne hi kaam kiye hai tamam
yoon tow humne kitne hi kaam kiye hai tamam
lekin aapki chere ki sundarta ko nikhare naya HAMAM.

zindigi ke hasin mod pe yoon na rukiye
zindigi ke hasin mod pe yoon na rukiye
IODEX maliye kaam pe chaliye

zamin se leke asaman tak .......asman se leke zamin tak
zamin se leke asaman tak .......asman se leke zamin tak
beech mein hawa hi hawa hai

mera sher hai pani ki do boondein
mera sher hai pani ki do boondein
TAPAK TAPAK

hum gujre unki gali se ajab ittefaq tha
hum gujre unki gali se ajab ittefaq tha
unhone pheka humpe phool
lekin gamla bhi saath tha.

kudrat ne kya diya zamaane ko,
kudrat ne kya diya zamaane ko,
ek diya lagaane ko..
aur do diye dabaane ko..

kabira khada bazar me , dekh oont ko roye
Itni unchi gand ko maar sake na koi.

Shikari ne teer mara samandar ke beech me
Khuda ne kya cheez banayee do tango ke beech me

Qutub Meenar ko dekh ke galib ka man hai dola
Aasmaan ko chodne chala dharti ka loora

yaar ke deedar se land me hui jo sihran
yaar ke deedar se land me hui jo sihran
to sadke se deewar per tasweer-e-jana ban gayee

Ya Khuda Yeh teri Kaisi Khudai
Ya Khuda Yeh teri Kaisi Khudai
Bandar ki gaand pe lipstick lagai!

Draupadi ka vastraharan
Dushasan ko pada bhari
Draupadi ka vastraharan
Dushasan ko pada bhari
saaree mein saaree
Parag saaree!

Kabira baitha ped par apna l**d latkaay,
Jis ko jitna chaahiye kaat kaat le jaay..............

" Kabeera khada beech bazaar, foot foot kar roye,
Kabeera khada beech bazaar, foot foot kar roye...
(you know why?)
Kabeera khada beech bazaar, foot foot kar roye...
foot foot kar....subuk subuk....

You know why?

Gaand mar sab chal diyo, PAISA diyo na koye....


Chodan Chodan sab kare, Chod saka na koi...
Chodan Chodan sab kare, Chod saka na koi...
Chodan Chodan sab kare, Chod saka na koi...

Without viagra...huh....
Rahiman jab chodan gaye to Land khada na hoye...

Sitare hain gardish mein sanam gand maaro na hamari,
miloge bahar-e-gulistan mein maa chod denge tumhari....


Bewafa tum ho to wafadaar hum bhi nahi
besharam tum ho to sharamdaar hum bhi nahi
pyaar ke is mode par aake kehte ho shadishuda ho
to kya hua darling...kunware hum bhi nahin

Badan uska silky ho,
Breast uski milky ho,
Dekhne me chikni ho,
Pehni usne bikini ho,
Neche uske chimney ho....
Lamba apna danda ho,
Usme jaake thanda ho.

Duniya Se Jo Darre, Usse Kaayar Kehta Hain,
Duniya Jisse Darre, Usse Shaayar Kehte Hain,
Biwi Se Jo Darre, Usse Shohar Kehte Hain.

Mud kar jara idhar bhi dekh jalim, ke tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai
Chut tere paas hai to kya, lund hum bhi rakhte hai!

Ehsan kissika kya lena, hum to muth pe guzara karte hai
Jab bhi yaad unki aati hai, ooth ooth dubara karte hai!

Dil to diya hai tuje, magar ek shart lagayi hai
Leni hai woh cheez, jo tune tango me chheepayee hai!

Koun kehta hai ki lu*nd yahan mutneko aata hai
Woh to chut ki yaad me aansu bahane aata hai!

Chut se jab khoon behne laga
Mirza Galib samje, bhonsada paan khane laga!

"Har roaz `aadaab' `aadaab' kartee thee ...
aek din daab liyae toh khafa ho gayee."

Laut jaati hai duniya gham hamara dekh kar,
Jaise laut jaati hai lehren kinara dekh kar;
Aap kandha na dena mere janaze ko,
Kahin phir zinda na ho jaoon aapka Bhosda dekh kar!

Neend kaise aaj aaye gi,
Neend kaise aaj aaye gi,

teen tangain hain chaar pai ki,

Chaku se kya kaat ti ho, dhaar to talwar mein hai,
Chaku se kya kaat ti ho dhaar to talvar mein hai,
Dupatte se kya dhaak ti ho, maal to salwar mein hai

Na teer na talwaar
Agar mujhse hai pyaar
To khol apni salwaar
Mera shastra hai taiyaar
Houngaa tujhpe sawaar
Jaldi se apni chadhi utaar
teri bharni hai daraar


Ye waqt nahin hai rone ka,
ye waqt hai bacha hone ka,
Uss waqt kyun nahin royi thi,
jab chipak ke mujhse soyee thi,
Aab jo kiya hai wo bharo,
Tab to kehti thi aur karo aur karo....

Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,badi joshh ke sath !
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,badi shhor ke sath !
Aab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath !
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath !

tere hothon se lag kar yeh hawa sharab ban gayi
aankhon se lag kar yeh hijaab ban gayi
aur gaalon se lag kar yeh gulab ban gayi.
sach hi kahti hai yeh duniya jaaneman
ki mujh se mil kar tu laajawaab ho gayi

Khidki khuli, Julfein nikli Maine socha kismat khuli,
Par Afsos Din Eetwaar(Sunday) tha,
Woh to Khuli julfon wala sardar tha

Woh Copy hee kyaa jiska cover Na ho ,
Woh copy hee kyaa jiska cover Na ho !
Woh ladki hee kya jisska lover Na ho !

Ram ne Dhanush toda Sita Daud ke aayi
Kishan ne bansuri bajayi aur radha bhag ke chali aayi
aur hamne sirf siti mari,sali baap ko le aayi

Sharab bani to mehkhane bane
Husn bana to deewane bane
Kuch to baat hai aap mein
Yoon hi to nahi paagal khane bane

teri aankhen jhuki jhuki,
tera chehra khila khila,
teri aankhen jhuki jhuki,
tera chehra khila khila,
jab tere galo parr se hath ghumaya,
to adha kilo FAIR AND LOVELY mila.

Raat thi, Alam Madahosh tha,
Zarra zarra neend mein behosh tha,
Pattiyan Khadaki, Main Samjha wo aaye,
Magar saala KHARGOSH tha.

Chaandni Raat thee , Woh mere saath thee,
Main usske upar thaa, woh mere niche thee.....
Haathoon mein they haath , aur paeron main paaer.............
Main Zor lagaa rhaa thaaa, woh awaaz kar rahi theeeeee...........

Woh meri CYCLE theeee........




sirf tum hi nahi ho jisay main ne baywaqoof banaya hai
aur bhi kayee masoom hai jin-hain main ne phasaya hai
shadi ke wade to kayee-yo se kiya hai lakin
shadi wahi karonga jaha amma ne bataya hai
sirf tum hi nahi ho jisay main ne baywaqoof banaya hai

suna hai tum ko ladke wale dekhne aaye hain
ye mujhko mere dosto ne bataya hai
gham mat karna mat ghabrana tum nahi ho to kya hua
main ne tumhari padosan ko bhi phasya hai
sirf tum hi nahi ho jisay main ne baywaqoof banaya ha


Shama Parwaane Se Kuch Keh Rahi Hi,
Shama Parwaane Se Kuch Keh Rahi Hi,
Darling Zara Hanky Deena
Meri Noosy Beh Rahi Hi ! ! !

Naz o andaaz se, baaton se, intzaar se maara,
Husn se, aankhon se kabhi, teer o talwae se maara,
Aah...bhi na nikli aur main mar bhi gaya,
Zaalim mere mahboob ne, itne pyaar se maara.

Agni ko saakshi maan kar liye hai saat phere
Agni ko saakshi maan kar liye hai saat phere
Saala, gol gol ghoom kar pair dukh rahe hai mere


Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain

jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai

Suraj Hua Madham ,
chand bhi chalne laga,
mein thehra raha, zamin chalne lagi,
sajna kya yehi pyaar hai ??
Nalayak, yeh pyar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai ! BHAAG !

Lungi khol ke baithe the thandi hawa khane ko.

Arz kiya hai
Lungi khol ke baithe the thandi hawa khane ko
Chooha jhat se ghusa apna bil samajh ke



Arz Kiya Hai....

Tum Paas aaye,
Yun Baas aaye,
Lagta hai tum
Kai din se na nahaye

Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaar maar do
Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do

Yeh tera chehra hai, yaa kele ka chhilka
Jo dekha to, dil phisal gaya

Katchi Kali Katchnar Ki, Katcha Na Samjhna
Lar Jaoonga Tere Baap Se Batcha Na Samajhna

Khud ko kar buland itnaa..
Ke' Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche..
Aur khuda tumse puche..
'Abe gadhe... ab utrega kaise '

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai

bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge

Industrian sari mere yaar khaa gaye
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar khaa gaye
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating
banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye


Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai
Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai

Maine tujhe pyar kiya, Saraswati samajh kar
Tere Baap ne mujhe pita, Agarbatti samajh kar


Teri Beauty Ne Mujko Appeal Kiya,
Dusri Ko Reject Kiya,
Aur Tisri Ko Select Kiya.


Yeh zulfain hain tumhari, ya resham ke jaal,
Kitne khush-naseeb hain vo choohe
Jin hon ne kutre tere baaal

Dil hai tera dariyaa....Aankhen hain teri Jheel
So my darling ... What's The Big-Deal ??

Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon
Pant wali mil jaye, to ghanghre wali ko chor doon

Teri julf kya hai raat ka saaya hai
Sar muda deeya to sawera ho jayega.

Tere ishk me janam kya se kya haal ho gaya
Badan se badboo aa rahee hai, nahay jamana ho gaya.

Kaash ke hum bhi kuch likh paate
kaash ke hum bhi kuch bayan kar paate
Agar aisa kar sakte to ae mere dost
yahan baithe baithe ga*and kyun khujaate??

Jab se begam ne mujhe murghaa banaa rakhaa hai
maine nazron ki tarah sar bhi jhukaa rakhaa hai
Bartanon! aaj mere sar pe baraste kiyun ho
maine tumko to hameshaa shulaa rakhaa hai
pahle belan ne banaayaa mere sar par gomad
aur ab chamte ne meraa gaal sujaa rakhaa hai
saare kapre to jalaa daale hain begam ne
tan chhupaane ko baniyaan phataa rakhaa hai
wohi duniyaa mein muqaddar ka sikander yehan thahraa
jisne khud ko abhii shaadi se bachaa rakhaa hai
pee jaa is maar ki talkhii ko bhii hans kar naasir
maar khaane mein bhii qudrat ne mazaa rakhaa hai


neend yon bhi kahaan judaai mein
us pe khatmal hain chaar-paai mein
saamney aaein to dulhan ban kar
jaan dedongaa munh dikhaai mein
khush hueen unki maan bhi ab kya hai
ungliyaan ghee mein sar kadhaai mein
nahien chechak ke daagh us rukh par
makkhiyaan lipti hain mithaai mein

Laloo bada chalak hai, 9 bacho ka baap hai,
loloo bada nirala hai,Daswa aanewala hai,
ye andar ki baat hai, isme atal ka haath hai....

Zindagi mein tum bahut AAGE jaooge.....
kyunki tum jahan bi jaaoge,
log kahenge....................
chal chal......AAGE jaa!!

Kiss kiss ki mehfil mein
kiss kiss ne kiss ko kiss kiss tarah se kiss kiya…..
Ek hum hai jisne har kiss ko miss kiya
aur ek aap hai jisne har miss ko kiss kiya.


Ek dost ka wada hai, marte dam tak nibhayenge
Maut aayi to tumase pehale ham jayenge
Bhool na payenge tumko
Isiliye tumhe bhi saath le jayenge.

pehele dil lete hain,phir jaan bhi le lete hain,
yeh woh zalim hai, jo jaan bhi le lete hain,
apne matlaabki her ek baat pakad lete hai,
ungli mil jaye to phir, hath bhi, pakad lete lain.