It's Called A Breakup....

My boyfriend and I broke up after four years of the perfect—then not so perfect—relationship. We had a friendly split and decided to remain best friends. At first I was fine with this decision but one night after a few too many white Russians and marshmallow peeps I changed my mind. I found that I missed him immensely and called him up at 2 am. He answered but tried to politely get off the phone saying that “now just isn’t really a great time.” Well, I was enraged; after all we were still “best friends” right!? So I decided to go over to his house and see what was so pressing. Upon my arrival I found him there with the ugliest girl I have ever seen. I proceeded to tell her just how ugly she was and how he would never care for someone who looked like her. As it turned out she was already painfully aware that she was not traditionally beautiful and started crying right away. He kicked me out of his house but not before explaining that she was a friend from work that was having problems fitting in and was already quite depressed about the way she looked. They had similar interests (video games) and he was trying to be nice. It was strictly platonic. Our friends confirmed this later on. I have never felt so low in all my life as when I woke up the next morning and realized what I had done to that poor girl. She ended up quitting her job and they never heard from her again. OH... and I lost my "best friend."

Stashia

I quit college and moved to a big city to be with someone who I thought was the love of my life. He broke up with me two months after I moved up there. I was an hour away from any family or friends so I was all alone. I only had my dog that we had gotten together so she was a reminder of him. One day he called and told me he had cheated on me many times during the 2 years we were together. Since he’d brought his laundry over to my apartment often so I could wash it, he told me to bring his clothes to his school and put them in his car. I did. Of course it was after I shredded them with scissors. I scattered the little pieces all over the inside of his car and sent him a text that said "Decorated your car hope you enjoy it as much as I did!"

Adrienne

This was a long time ago so I'm able to laugh at myself now. When I was 17 I dated a guy that I was convinced I would marry. The only problem was that his other good friend was a girl and she didn't like us together. At the time I thought she was doing everything in her power to break us up. He refused to stop hanging out with her despite my whining about it.  One night they went out together to the movies. I was so livid when I found out that I decided to confront them. So I went to his place and sat in the bushes (wearing all black mind you) and waited for them to get back. For the whole hour I waited I became angrier and angrier. When they pulled up I came stomping out of the bushes screaming my head off. They were so shocked that they both screamed. I was the one who looked like the fool in the end. Of course he and I eventually broke up and I stopped hiding in foliage and used a more direct communication approach when I was upset about something.

Jeanna

When my boyfriend of nine years called it quits with us because of a younger woman I was hurting for a while. I finally decided to get my revenge after about a month of mourning. Whenever I went anywhere where there was a sign that said "sign up and you could win" I would always fill out the cards with my name but his address. I just wanted to piss off his little girlfriend, which it did to see mail coming to his address in my name.

Ashley

The night before my boyfriend broke up with me I called his cell to find out where he was. He didn't pick up so I called his house and his mother told me that he was at his friend’s. I knew his friend and wondered why he hadn’t picked up so I called my girlfriend and she told me to do a "drive-by.” I drove by his friend's house and could see people splashing in his pool. I wanted to see who was there to find out if it was a "boy's night" or simply a party I didn't get an invitation to. I couldn't see that well while driving so I pulled over to the side from a distance and put my hazards on. As I was spying a car pulled up next to me and rolled down the window. A woman and a teenage boy were in the car and the woman asked me if I needed help. I looked sheepishly at her and then recognized the boy’s face—it was my boyfriend's cousin and what I assumed to be my boyfriend's aunt in the car! I had gone fishing with my boyfriend and his cousin two days earlier so he recognized me. I presume that he told my boyfriend that he’d seen me, and sure enough, the next day on my way to a theme park with my girlfriend I got a voicemail from him telling me that we should just be friends. I guess my stalker girlfriend days should be put to rest.

Rebecca

I broke up with my boyfriend a few months before I was supposed to graduate from college. These last few months were crucial, but instead of getting it together and throwing myself into my schoolwork, I became a total wreck and reverted back to the lazy, drunk sorority girl I had been before we were together. Instead of studying, I spent my free time outside of class eating junk food and watching TV. I tried to make up for this lost time by pulling all-nighters to finish schoolwork, but I ended up spending the hours stalking him on the Internet (during which time I found some recent pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend, which only depressed me further). Eventually his birthday rolled around, and so I wouldn't be too depressed, my wonderful friends took me out for a night on the town. I had not eaten anything beforehand, and I ended up getting completely wasted and making out in a dark corner of the bar with a guy in a Care Bear costume (don't ask). I was carried out of the bar by security guards, lifted into a cab by my friends, and allegedly spent half an hour crying on the steps of my friends' apartment building. I woke up the next morning on their couch, hung over and sad, only to find that he had drunk dialed me TWELVE TIMES the night before, and left me two sobbing voicemail messages. It comforted me to know that even at my lowest point, I was still doing better than he was. I'm now making up for lost time and working toward my degree. To this day, I can't thank my friends enough for putting up with me!

Rose

I was going out of with a guy who moved to another state, and he didn't ask me to go (that should have been a clue) anyway I kept calling him and he would be pleasant, but would not initiate any contact. One night he picked up the phone and I could tell by the tone of his voice he was expecting someone else.  I called an airline, paid $1500.00 for a round trip ticket for less than 24 hours to be spent in his city.  I also rented a car and drove around all night waiting for him to come home, he never did.  I ended up having to check into a hotel, I was in Las Vegas, so you can imagine what that cost.  Early in the morning I started calling his work, I didn't know it but the receptionist was his new girlfriend and she kept ringing me to an extension that didn't exist.  I then drove to his work and handed him a note I’d written about how I felt, and it was the wrong piece of paper.  What I gave him was directions to his new girlfriends home (how I got that is another story). Anyway, I had to fly home and never even was able to talk to him.

Laura

Okay, this is probably one of the weirdest things I have ever even heard of, let alone done, but.…

When it was over with a guy, rather than egg his house, my best friend and I (with her fiancé as the get away driver) unwrapped and adorned his porch and lawn with baloney and sliced cheese.  We were hoping there would be a crazy flock of crows on the front lawn the next day, but we couldn't really hang around to watch.  The funniest part was that we never even heard anything about it through friends of friends.  I still wonder to this day whether they cleaned it up, or left it for the crows.

Jkg

I was seeing a guy, by all brief definitions of the word, as it hadn't really gone anywhere, when he started acting distant and severed all communication. Being the forthright 90's gal that I am, I decided to take matters into my own hands--by stalking him. I asked friends to ring his house to see if he was home (when his messenger message said he was out), I'd go to the local gym when his online message said he was 'working out', and I'd be mature and rational, by calling and breathing heavily into his machine. It is now 7 months later and he still wants nothing to do with me, or my heavy breathing antics.

QueenofDeNile

Well it was obvious the last four months of our relationship; my boyfriend "was just not that into me.”  His excuses for not spending time with me become more and more lame until it just got to the point where he wasn't calling. So instead of just accepting this for what it was, I kept calling him! My mom said I should just accept that he was trying to get out of the relationship but I told her I thought I “might be able to keep things going” if I kept calling him.  Well eventually he mustered up the strength to break up with me—on the phone no less—and I begged him not to.  We were together for one more week and the last time I saw him he put me down in front of his family and friends.  When I told him this hurt my feelings his response was not to call me again. Well after a month I knew our relationship was really over, but I decided to IM him and ask why. During this IM session I told him I still loved him and asked him if he loved me. However there was no response and at this point I’d lost all my dignity. Looking back I wish I had never made contact with him again because now he will always tell his friends I was the psycho girlfriend who could not let him go.

Broken-Hearted One

I broke into his e-mail and started e-mailing women he was talking to, telling them to BEWARE—HE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART!  I did this until my name appeared on one of the e-mails and then I WAS CAUGHT!  He IM'ed me, telling me he’d changed his password and that he hoped this would all stop now.  I'm totally embarrassed by this and up until now only my therapist knew I did it—but what the hell!

Nina

My confessional: I have been sneaking into my ex-boyfriend’s house and checking up on what he's been up to.  I have a way to get in by picking a lock. It's a new house and I never had a key. We were engaged so I check if he has returned my ring yet. Only to find out he can only get store credit—and he doesn't wear jewelry. He's a jerk.  I guess I am too.

Catherine

My ex-boyfriend has a real issue about his receding hairline. After we broke up I went into his house and put Nair in the bottle of his special hair loss shampoo.

Anonymous

I dated this guy at a time when my self-esteem was at an all time low. That was the first of my many mistakes. I wish that I had listened to my friends when they told me that this guy wasn't any good. Things were never great between us. We were two toxic people who were attracted to each other and made ourselves even more miserable by being together. He always wanted to know where I was and I unloaded everything that bothered me. When we broke up I sent him many e-mails wishing that he would go to hell and what I hated about him. Now I wish that I hadn't gone all psychotic on him. I wish I would have walked away and lost his number. Then I could have walked away with dignity and respect. Now to him, his family, and his friends I'll forever be known as the "crazy ex-girlfriend."  Life isn't over but I wish I had learned these lessons much sooner.

Mindy

I have a really good confession. I am psycho!!  I divorced my husband of eleven years and then moved next door to him on our farm—which used to be his Mom’s house.