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Funny Adult Shayari
Mar 08,2007 00:00
by
todaysfunda
NOTE: If you are easily offended by adult jokes, stories, pranks or poems then please do not read this article. This page contains explicit and vulgar & foul language, which is not suitable for general or under-age viewers. We have warned you here beforehand, and after this we can't be held responsible for anything. Thanks! Arz kiya hai...............................
Maine poocha chand se... Kabhi dekha hai mere yaar sa hasin..... Chand ne kaha , Abe Bhosdi ke, itne upar se kuch dikhta hai kya
Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate....................... Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate.......................
Tu Chaand Tarey Todna tu Chhoti Baat Hai......... Hum tu Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!
Ansu tere nikle, to ankhen meri ho, Dil tera dhadke, to dhadkan meri ho, Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho, Baap tu bane, to mehnat meri ho
Baarish Ka Paani aur Kagaz Ki Kashti....................... Daaru ki botal aur achhhi Ghashti.......................... Ye Jawaani aur Sex ,do Pal Ki Masti.................. Condom Lagana Dost, yeh Lulee nahi sasti..........!!!!
Majnu ki halat to dekhiye, kabr mein pada tha Majnu ki halat to dekhiye, kabr mein pada tha Haddiyan to gal gayi thi, par land khada tha...........
yaha waha ......waha yaha yaha waha ......waha yaha lifebouy hain jaha tandarusti hai waha .
yoon tow humne kitne hi kaam kiye hai tamam yoon tow humne kitne hi kaam kiye hai tamam lekin aapki chere ki sundarta ko nikhare naya HAMAM.
zindigi ke hasin mod pe yoon na rukiye zindigi ke hasin mod pe yoon na rukiye IODEX maliye kaam pe chaliye
zamin se leke asaman tak .......asman se leke zamin tak zamin se leke asaman tak .......asman se leke zamin tak beech mein hawa hi hawa hai
mera sher hai pani ki do boondein mera sher hai pani ki do boondein TAPAK TAPAK
hum gujre unki gali se ajab ittefaq tha hum gujre unki gali se ajab ittefaq tha unhone pheka humpe phool lekin gamla bhi saath tha.
kudrat ne kya diya zamaane ko, kudrat ne kya diya zamaane ko, ek diya lagaane ko.. aur do diye dabaane ko..
kabira khada bazar me , dekh oont ko roye Itni unchi gand ko maar sake na koi.
Shikari ne teer mara samandar ke beech me Khuda ne kya cheez banayee do tango ke beech me
Qutub Meenar ko dekh ke galib ka man hai dola Aasmaan ko chodne chala dharti ka loora
yaar ke deedar se land me hui jo sihran yaar ke deedar se land me hui jo sihran to sadke se deewar per tasweer-e-jana ban gayee
Ya Khuda Yeh teri Kaisi Khudai Ya Khuda Yeh teri Kaisi Khudai Bandar ki gaand pe lipstick lagai!
Draupadi ka vastraharan Dushasan ko pada bhari Draupadi ka vastraharan Dushasan ko pada bhari saaree mein saaree Parag saaree!
Kabira baitha ped par apna l**d latkaay, Jis ko jitna chaahiye kaat kaat le jaay..............
" Kabeera khada beech bazaar, foot foot kar roye, Kabeera khada beech bazaar, foot foot kar roye... (you know why?) Kabeera khada beech bazaar, foot foot kar roye... foot foot kar....subuk subuk....
You know why?
Gaand mar sab chal diyo, PAISA diyo na koye....
Chodan Chodan sab kare, Chod saka na koi... Chodan Chodan sab kare, Chod saka na koi... Chodan Chodan sab kare, Chod saka na koi...
Without viagra...huh.... Rahiman jab chodan gaye to Land khada na hoye...
Sitare hain gardish mein sanam gand maaro na hamari, miloge bahar-e-gulistan mein maa chod denge tumhari....
Bewafa tum ho to wafadaar hum bhi nahi besharam tum ho to sharamdaar hum bhi nahi pyaar ke is mode par aake kehte ho shadishuda ho to kya hua darling...kunware hum bhi nahin
Badan uska silky ho, Breast uski milky ho, Dekhne me chikni ho, Pehni usne bikini ho, Neche uske chimney ho.... Lamba apna danda ho, Usme jaake thanda ho.
Duniya Se Jo Darre, Usse Kaayar Kehta Hain, Duniya Jisse Darre, Usse Shaayar Kehte Hain, Biwi Se Jo Darre, Usse Shohar Kehte Hain.
Mud kar jara idhar bhi dekh jalim, ke tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai Chut tere paas hai to kya, lund hum bhi rakhte hai!
Ehsan kissika kya lena, hum to muth pe guzara karte hai Jab bhi yaad unki aati hai, ooth ooth dubara karte hai!
Dil to diya hai tuje, magar ek shart lagayi hai Leni hai woh cheez, jo tune tango me chheepayee hai!
Koun kehta hai ki lu*nd yahan mutneko aata hai Woh to chut ki yaad me aansu bahane aata hai!
Chut se jab khoon behne laga Mirza Galib samje, bhonsada paan khane laga!
"Har roaz `aadaab' `aadaab' kartee thee ... aek din daab liyae toh khafa ho gayee."
Laut jaati hai duniya gham hamara dekh kar, Jaise laut jaati hai lehren kinara dekh kar; Aap kandha na dena mere janaze ko, Kahin phir zinda na ho jaoon aapka Bhosda dekh kar!
Neend kaise aaj aaye gi, Neend kaise aaj aaye gi,
teen tangain hain chaar pai ki,
Chaku se kya kaat ti ho, dhaar to talwar mein hai, Chaku se kya kaat ti ho dhaar to talvar mein hai, Dupatte se kya dhaak ti ho, maal to salwar mein hai
Na teer na talwaar Agar mujhse hai pyaar To khol apni salwaar Mera shastra hai taiyaar Houngaa tujhpe sawaar Jaldi se apni chadhi utaar teri bharni hai daraar
Ye waqt nahin hai rone ka, ye waqt hai bacha hone ka, Uss waqt kyun nahin royi thi, jab chipak ke mujhse soyee thi, Aab jo kiya hai wo bharo, Tab to kehti thi aur karo aur karo....
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,badi joshh ke sath ! Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,badi shhor ke sath ! Aab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath ! Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath !
tere hothon se lag kar yeh hawa sharab ban gayi aankhon se lag kar yeh hijaab ban gayi aur gaalon se lag kar yeh gulab ban gayi. sach hi kahti hai yeh duniya jaaneman ki mujh se mil kar tu laajawaab ho gayi
Khidki khuli, Julfein nikli Maine socha kismat khuli, Par Afsos Din Eetwaar(Sunday) tha, Woh to Khuli julfon wala sardar tha
Woh Copy hee kyaa jiska cover Na ho , Woh copy hee kyaa jiska cover Na ho ! Woh ladki hee kya jisska lover Na ho !
Ram ne Dhanush toda Sita Daud ke aayi Kishan ne bansuri bajayi aur radha bhag ke chali aayi aur hamne sirf siti mari,sali baap ko le aayi
Sharab bani to mehkhane bane Husn bana to deewane bane Kuch to baat hai aap mein Yoon hi to nahi paagal khane bane
teri aankhen jhuki jhuki, tera chehra khila khila, teri aankhen jhuki jhuki, tera chehra khila khila, jab tere galo parr se hath ghumaya, to adha kilo FAIR AND LOVELY mila.
Raat thi, Alam Madahosh tha, Zarra zarra neend mein behosh tha, Pattiyan Khadaki, Main Samjha wo aaye, Magar saala KHARGOSH tha.
Chaandni Raat thee , Woh mere saath thee, Main usske upar thaa, woh mere niche thee..... Haathoon mein they haath , aur paeron main paaer............. Main Zor lagaa rhaa thaaa, woh awaaz kar rahi theeeeee...........
Woh meri CYCLE theeee........
sirf tum hi nahi ho jisay main ne baywaqoof banaya hai aur bhi kayee masoom hai jin-hain main ne phasaya hai shadi ke wade to kayee-yo se kiya hai lakin shadi wahi karonga jaha amma ne bataya hai sirf tum hi nahi ho jisay main ne baywaqoof banaya hai
suna hai tum ko ladke wale dekhne aaye hain ye mujhko mere dosto ne bataya hai gham mat karna mat ghabrana tum nahi ho to kya hua main ne tumhari padosan ko bhi phasya hai sirf tum hi nahi ho jisay main ne baywaqoof banaya ha
Shama Parwaane Se Kuch Keh Rahi Hi, Shama Parwaane Se Kuch Keh Rahi Hi, Darling Zara Hanky Deena Meri Noosy Beh Rahi Hi ! ! !
Naz o andaaz se, baaton se, intzaar se maara, Husn se, aankhon se kabhi, teer o talwae se maara, Aah...bhi na nikli aur main mar bhi gaya, Zaalim mere mahboob ne, itne pyaar se maara.
Agni ko saakshi maan kar liye hai saat phere Agni ko saakshi maan kar liye hai saat phere Saala, gol gol ghoom kar pair dukh rahe hai mere
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi, Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi, Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki, Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...
Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain, Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai
Suraj Hua Madham , chand bhi chalne laga, mein thehra raha, zamin chalne lagi, sajna kya yehi pyaar hai ?? Nalayak, yeh pyar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai ! BHAAG !
Lungi khol ke baithe the thandi hawa khane ko.
Arz kiya hai Lungi khol ke baithe the thandi hawa khane ko Chooha jhat se ghusa apna bil samajh ke
Arz Kiya Hai....
Tum Paas aaye, Yun Baas aaye, Lagta hai tum Kai din se na nahaye
Maine tujhe dekha Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya
Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaar maar do Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do
Yeh tera chehra hai, yaa kele ka chhilka Jo dekha to, dil phisal gaya
Katchi Kali Katchnar Ki, Katcha Na Samjhna Lar Jaoonga Tere Baap Se Batcha Na Samajhna
Khud ko kar buland itnaa.. Ke' Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche.. Aur khuda tumse puche.. 'Abe gadhe... ab utrega kaise '
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge
Industrian sari mere yaar khaa gaye Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar khaa gaye Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye
Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai
Maine tujhe pyar kiya, Saraswati samajh kar Tere Baap ne mujhe pita, Agarbatti samajh kar
Teri Beauty Ne Mujko Appeal Kiya, Dusri Ko Reject Kiya, Aur Tisri Ko Select Kiya.
Yeh zulfain hain tumhari, ya resham ke jaal, Kitne khush-naseeb hain vo choohe Jin hon ne kutre tere baaal
Dil hai tera dariyaa....Aankhen hain teri Jheel So my darling ... What's The Big-Deal ??
Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon Pant wali mil jaye, to ghanghre wali ko chor doon
Teri julf kya hai raat ka saaya hai Sar muda deeya to sawera ho jayega.
Tere ishk me janam kya se kya haal ho gaya Badan se badboo aa rahee hai, nahay jamana ho gaya.
Kaash ke hum bhi kuch likh paate kaash ke hum bhi kuch bayan kar paate Agar aisa kar sakte to ae mere dost yahan baithe baithe ga*and kyun khujaate??
Jab se begam ne mujhe murghaa banaa rakhaa hai maine nazron ki tarah sar bhi jhukaa rakhaa hai Bartanon! aaj mere sar pe baraste kiyun ho maine tumko to hameshaa shulaa rakhaa hai pahle belan ne banaayaa mere sar par gomad aur ab chamte ne meraa gaal sujaa rakhaa hai saare kapre to jalaa daale hain begam ne tan chhupaane ko baniyaan phataa rakhaa hai wohi duniyaa mein muqaddar ka sikander yehan thahraa jisne khud ko abhii shaadi se bachaa rakhaa hai pee jaa is maar ki talkhii ko bhii hans kar naasir maar khaane mein bhii qudrat ne mazaa rakhaa hai
neend yon bhi kahaan judaai mein us pe khatmal hain chaar-paai mein saamney aaein to dulhan ban kar jaan dedongaa munh dikhaai mein khush hueen unki maan bhi ab kya hai ungliyaan ghee mein sar kadhaai mein nahien chechak ke daagh us rukh par makkhiyaan lipti hain mithaai mein
Laloo bada chalak hai, 9 bacho ka baap hai, loloo bada nirala hai,Daswa aanewala hai, ye andar ki baat hai, isme atal ka haath hai....
Zindagi mein tum bahut AAGE jaooge..... kyunki tum jahan bi jaaoge, log kahenge.................... chal chal......AAGE jaa!!
Kiss kiss ki mehfil mein kiss kiss ne kiss ko kiss kiss tarah se kiss kiya….. Ek hum hai jisne har kiss ko miss kiya aur ek aap hai jisne har miss ko kiss kiya.
Ek dost ka wada hai, marte dam tak nibhayenge Maut aayi to tumase pehale ham jayenge Bhool na payenge tumko Isiliye tumhe bhi saath le jayenge.
pehele dil lete hain,phir jaan bhi le lete hain, yeh woh zalim hai, jo jaan bhi le lete hain, apne matlaabki her ek baat pakad lete hai, ungli mil jaye to phir, hath bhi, pakad lete lain. |